Want to be a good mom?
The moment I realized I was expecting my first child, I was determined to be a good mother just like any other woman.
I always knew I wanted to do it the right way. Everyone around me showered me with their take on motherhood. I was in constant search for a magic parenting formula.
We often compare ourselves with others as a parent. There are two ways we do this.
First, to compare our weaknesses with the strengths of others. This kind of comparison isn’t healthy as this one leaves us feeling incapable and insecure.
Second one is to see the shortcomings and drawbacks in others to know what not to do and body your self esteem. This may make one feel good for a while, but this feeling would end up falling away soon enough.
Hence I would say, please don’t fall prey to this comparison trap. It’s healthier and better to learn from and encourage each other.
More than wasting your energy on comparing, we should focus on our children. Each one of us is doing a great job at being the best mom for our little muffins.
Here are 5 amazing HABITS that bring me closer to being a good mom that I always aspire to be.
1. Invest your energy and time in understanding your little muffins:
Always remember for kids, perception is a fact,a reality. If they always see their mother busy or distracted, that image is going to stay along. This might leave your child feel unimportant.
As a mother, it’s really critical to invest your time in understanding your child. We constantly need to empathize with them. Put yourself in your child’s shoes and try to understand the child’s perspective.
This would be your first step towards a happy and fun relationship with your child.
2. Teach your child how to express her feelings: It’s import to share your perspectives with your child, else the child will keep seeing things from her perspective all the time. Whenever you can’t spend time with your child, it’s important to explain the child’s why you can’t. Explaining the child why we do what we do makes them trust you and learn about being honest.
Create an open and healthy relationship with your child, which is a two way process. Take out time to ask your child thoughtful questions, and listen to their answers carefully, and be ready with your follow up questions.
Most times the little muffins don’t know how to express their feelings and thoughts in words. It’s a parents job you explain the child, how to express herself in a positive way.
The second step to this is most important, it’s about reinforcing this positive behavior but working on what they have said. This will show the child that you care about their thoughts and feelings.
3. Choose to be more proactive than reactive:
The key to successful parenting is, to understand that your child have certain needs that only you can meet and focus all your energy on preventing problems way before they occur in your child’s life.
It would be great if you could prepare a schedule, dividing your time wisely between your other responsibilities and your child. Let your child choose a few fun activities that she would like to do with you everyday. Make sure you take timely fun breaks and have some WE time with your child.
This will fill your child’s heart with numerous beautiful memories of you focusing hundreds percent of your time and energy on her.
Being proactive won’t only strengthen your relationship, but will also remind your child everyday about their importance in your life.
4. Accept your limitations:
You may find yourself in situations where you will be tempted to stretch yourself across your limits. Always remember when a mother is overworked out stressed physically the whole family ends up suffering.
It’s extremely important to accept your limitations and seek external help whenever you feel the need.
Be humble, accept your imperfections. You may be a supermom, but even then you need a break once in a while.
Don’t hesitate in saying SORRY, when you goof up, as the child would understand that no one is perfect, not even mom!!!
Let your child take over at times, so you get to have a bit Me-time to relax or to take care of your pending to do list.
5. Express love to your child in more than words:
The child needs to feel loved. Sometimes words aren’t enough to express that. It’s important to show them your love through your actions.
Kids need to know they are loved. Words aren’t enough. We must also show them love through our actions.
Learn whether it is words, touch, quality time, presents that truly convert love to your child.
The most valuable gift for your child is to love them in the way they love receiving love.
For my girl, undivided attention and tons of playtime is her kind of love.
It’s good to admire and respect other mommies around, but there isn’t any good that comes from trying to compare yourself with them.
The only way to keep yourself away from this comparison trap is to divert your energy towards encouraging and learning from each other.