Being raised by a narcissist parent can be quite difficult. It fills one’s life with challenges and by the time one realises the reality, it ideally gets too late. For a narcissist parent, their child is a trophy.
A narcissist parent seems perfect to the outside world, but is most likely to rage and scream at their child and spouse at home whenever they displease them.
Check out the points in this post that can help you identify various traits of a Narcissist Parent.
10 Traits of a Narcissist Parent:
1. A narcissist Parent views their child as an extension of their ego and they place a child’s value on how their child makes them look & feel.
2. Child in this case if doesn’t take care of the assigned roles, the parent feels shame and embarrassment. The child is then viewed as a shameful reflection.
3. A Narcissist Parent might end up taking control over all the aspects of their child’s life during their growing years (which carries on to the adulthood), to an extreme point : their clothes, their access to friends/love interest. The child in this case is so sheltered that they don’t know how to navigate through life on their own.
4. The child might view their parent ‘s control as care.
In this case, when the child grows older, they would find it difficult to navigate through emotional and social norms.
This child is unable to understand that the care is actually a control, which would not allow them to be independent later on in life.
5. The parent in this case may be indifferent, workaholic (includes house chores), cold, non affectionate (hugs and kisses in this case is non existent or minimal), raging and doesn’t notice their child’s emotional and social struggles. For eg. if a child is bullied, a narcissist parent would ideally never notice it.
6. The parent in this case doesn’t really respect the child, due to which they create an ideal of the child (idealization).
Just like the way they create a beautiful picture of themselves in public, they might create a fake and extravagant stories about their child. This is done just because they don’t want their trophy child to hurt their ego and public image. They are extremely image conscious of what the world thinks about their child and them.
7. They focus on their own outer beauty and that of their child. Inner beauty isn’t important to them. Eg: They would want to look their best even at a funeral (Yeah! They are that obsessed.)
8. Child in this case is viewed as a Golden child, a possible second Golden child or a scapegoat.
If the child doesn’t cater to their parent’s emotional, financial or social needs, the child becomes a scapegoat to things that can hurt them immensely.
9. For the longest time this child isn’t allowed to have their own identity as that could be a threat to the parent.
This child could rebel and takes charge of their life, become more confident than they could ever be under the parental guidance. The child flourishes and makes a mark, because this time they did it for themselves and to prove it to themselves.
9. Narcissists are known for being great with people. The world outside their extreme inner circle sees them as a completely different person, which is why they are publicly liked by almost all.
Because the world around sees this parent as a great person, no one actually validates the child’s truth. The child starts feeling isolated but never speaks about it.
I hope you found this post helpful in understanding about how a Narcissist Parent can hurt their child without even knowing.
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Read: Narcissist : easiest way to identity them
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It’s so important to understand the essence of child’s heart and mind and raise them happy human being, I am so happy to read this article as I have seen many parents who try to take full control on kids life and raise a child who is introvert and lonely.
Thank you for reading my article and for emphasizing the importance of understanding a child’s heart and mind in parenting. It’s crucial to prioritize our children’s happiness and well-being, and to create an environment in which they feel supported and encouraged to be their authentic selves. I appreciate your insights on this topic.
Coming to.think of it every parent who believes in strict parenting Nd punishment is narcissistic in a way. It is horrible to be imposed a life to never wanted.
I can understand how you might feel that way about strict parenting and punishment. I believe that the goal of parenting should be to help our children develop into confident, self-sufficient adults who can make their own choices and live fulfilling lives. It’s important to strike a balance between setting appropriate boundaries and giving our children the space they need to grow and learn from their experiences. Thank you for sharing your perspective, and for engaging in this important conversation about parenting.
You have raised some really valid points here. I guess we are all guilty of the narcissist streak as parents, at some stage or the other, in some or the other aspect.
Thank you for reading my post and for sharing your thoughts. You’re right that we all may have a narcissistic streak as parents at some point in our lives. It’s important to recognize these tendencies and work towards developing healthier behaviors and communication patterns with our children.
This trait is very challenging indeed, I feel for the poor kids of such personality type parents. Th kids will be always in submission and grow without any self-esteem and sense of achievement. I am all game for setting up rules, boundaries, discipline, etc but in the right balance. Everything has a threshold for a reason.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You’re right that having a parent with a challenging personality trait can be tough for kids, leading to submission and low self-esteem. Rules, boundaries, and discipline are important, but finding the right balance is key. Thanks again for your perspective on this important topic.
I’ve seen glimpses of narcissistic behaviour in some people I know but never realised how deeply they can affect a child’s psyche. Being able to live up to such parent’s expectations can be extremely overwhelming and can leave lifelong scars on the child’s heart and mind.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You’re right that narcissistic behavior can deeply affect a child’s psyche and leave lifelong scars. Growing up with narcissistic parents can be overwhelming and damaging to a child’s self-esteem. It’s important to recognize the signs and seek help. Therapy can be a helpful tool for both child and parent to work through their issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Thank you again for sharing your perspective on this important topic.