Stress effects relationships and it is quite common in Relationships.
Every couple experiences stress, which could root from issues at work, or with friends or family which is carried over into their own relationships. A couple’s personal issues, such as differences in needs and wants, or an argument or feeling aloof and neglected could also lead to stress for one or both the partners.
Stress effects relationships negatively at times:
Although it’s quite common, stress can really end up harming a relationship. People often don’t pay much attention to their emotions and end up bottling up the stress and keep it to themselves. Due to this, the partner is unable to decode what exactly you are going through and hence aren’t able to provide any kind of support.
If we aren’t able to regulate our emotions effectively and allow stress to consume us, it can end up creating a negative cycle in which ‘Stress’ passes on to the partner as well. Hence, it’s right to call stress CONTAGIOUS.
Try to think about a situation in which you had an argument with your partner which escalated like a wild fire. Now go back in time and try to analyse if stress was passed on to one another during that conversation. You might have ended up feeling powerless and said hurtful things to each other which you would have otherwise never said. It’s easy to get stuck in this kind of a negative cycle and your stress level could be too high to deal with the real underlying issues related to it. Hence it’s right to say that stress effects relationships and if this emotion isn’t regulated, it could do more harm that you could have imagined.
Is there a way Stress effects relationships Positively too?
I am sure you must be wondering, how can the answer be yes?
Going through a stressful phase doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship with your partner would suffer.
What’s important is how you perceive stress. Try seeing it as a challenge you could overcome.
Relationships with spouse, friends and other closed ones become stronger when you view stress as an opportunity to openly talk about your emotions. When you do this you acknowledge stress you slowly start to navigate through it and build a strong mechanism to deal with it in a better way in future, which in turn makes your relationships stronger than before.
Sharing about your stress makes partner aware of what they need from one another and they are able to show that they are understood, valued and cared for truly.
Physically your body deals with stress better and it’s intensity is less, when your partner responds to your needs and is there for you in real.
During times of stress we often end up practicing and judging and shaming approach with people who we ideally really care about. This happens because stress overpowers our judgement and makes us feel overwhelmed. That’s why most relationships go under the bus while one of the two is going through stress.
Stress can be a game changer if you manage it Effectively:
As a couple you must identify the root cause of your stress and try to understand what you need when you feel stressed. If the stress is caused due to something within the relationship, it might get difficult to talk about the cause. However, please understand that if you don’t discuss it in that case your partner won’t be able to provide support to you. Couples who discuss openly about this are extremely successful in handling and managing stress together as they strongly feel that they are in it together as a team.
What must be done once you acknowledge stress?
- Check in with each other often
- Listen without judging before offering any solution
- Ask each other openly what you could do to help the other get through their day smoothly
- Did you know hugging for at least 30 seconds after work can actually help calm each other down as it helps to line up your bodies? Try this and you would be surprised to see how it helps.
- Don’t isolate one another when dealing with stress. Stay connected. When you are practically into it together your relationship gets stronger and it gets easier to manage this feeling.
Here are some changes in the way you speak to each other during stress, which would ensure that you bond better during this phase:
I really hope this post helps you look at Stress differently and helps you bond better with your spouse.
I have designed a special workshops for couples that I have successfully taken as one to one sessions and group activities which help couples Bond better. If you would like me to take such a workshop in a group or one to one with your spouse, you can reach me at email@example.com or reach me on my Instagram handle @lifecoachpreet.
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