Breastfeeding baby while bonding with your toddler
First thing that often comes to the mind of a new second time mom, is how your older child would respond to your breastfeeding baby. You may also end up worrying about how you could keep the older sibling occupied while you would be breastfeeding your little one.
The truth is that all kids show a healthy curiosity about this beautiful way of breastfeeding a baby. Breastfeeding time could turn out to be a positive and educational experience for the entire family, as long as you explain the breastfeeding process to the older children in simple language and maintain an open approach to the questions they have and their desire to watch the new sibling breastfeed.
Be ready to have your older children hover around during breastfeeding sessions or even try to climb into your lap.
Never force your toddler to join in
There isn’t a single reason why your toddler can’t lay her head down on the same pillow that your baby’s head is laying on. There is no reason why both your little muffins can’t sit together on your lap while you are breastfeeding one of them.
Though this shouldn’t be made a necessary requirement.
If your toddler wants to, she should be allowed to run around screaming in the room with a box on her head while you breastfeed the baby.
The point here is that nothing should be enforced on the toddler while you are breastfeeding.
This leads to my third mantra of breastfeeding a baby with a toddler besides.
Encourage your toddler to join you
Each time you are about to breastfeed your infant, ask your toddler if she would like to come and sit with you. You could ask her to grab a book or any toy and sit besides you, while the little one is having milk. I’m sure you wouldn’t want her to think that you “IGNORED” her to play with the baby and didn’t give her a chance to participate.
Never tell your toddler “no” when breastfeeding
If your toddler gets a hairbrush to brush your hair ( which might mean wanting to tangle it beyond redemption), please allow her to do so.
if she wants to go behind you and do a piggyback or wants to hug you while you are breastfeeding, let her.
The idea is to let the toddler know that life isn’t changed after the arrival of her sibling. The more the toddler would hear a ‘NO’, the more likely it would be of her to feel neglected.
Snacks are provided
Always ensure that you make a provision for your toddler to eat too, while your baby is being breastfed.
Keeping some snacks right besides you is a great idea. If your toddler decides to have a bite, you would have something to offer her with your free hand while you are still breastfeeding the little one.
Cuddle both babies
This one is my favorite. Breastfeeding time could become a ‘calm time’ for your toddler by making it a snuggle time for her. This would give her a chance to just sit there and watch, talk to you and play with her little sibling’s feet, hands and ears.
The easiest way to cuddle both your little ones while breastfeeding is to hold your baby on your lap and your toddler curled up next to you with her head on your shoulder. You could also, put your arm around her, too, giving them both the mommy-attention they need.
The biggest fear I had when I had my second child was that I should never make my first child feel neglected. She was our lifeline and would always be. The only time I felt that would be making her feel neglected would have been the breastfeeding time. That urged me to find a solution for it. Hope this helps all the mothers who have two kids or are planning to have the second one.
Read : How I bust gender stereotypes – My parenting mantra Blog train
Read: FUN MEMORIES ARE WHAT YOUR CHILD’S MEMORY BANK NEEDS
Read: POST DELIVERY | DO YOU FEEL LIKE A STRANGER IN YOUR BODY?
Read: Breastfeeding : THE TOUGHEST CHOICE I HAD TO MAKE AS A SECOND TIME MOTHER
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Much love,
Preetjyot Kaur
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I agree the toddler should not feel left out or neglected! It’s hard to tactfully handle this and as I have twins I didn’t face this situation.
Good post!
Thanks Zainab
Wow!!!! Nyc post….I love your attitude towards life…just keep this attitude??
Thanks Suruchi, I’m so glad you liked this post.. And thanks a lot for such a beautiful compliment.. You made my day
Very important read for second time moms. Breastfeeding is such an intimate activity, it can lead the elder sibling to feel left out. I think the tips you have given will definitely help new second time moms.
Thanks a lot Mahak.. That was my exact thought while writing about this..
Loved reading the post. My elder one was 5.5 yrs when my second baby was born. I have gone thru this phase and can relate to the post well. Yes both can sit on you lap, Both can play with you at the same time and both can co sleep as well. Thanks for sharing the post
Thanks..
This is a very sensitive topic and need to be understood.
True that
Such a wise post. I have a son and whenever I think about the second baby, these question come into my mind. This post has given me an important insight.
Thanks.. I hope this helps you..
Its very important to take care of the elder one when the second one arrives. sometimes we get so busy and occupied with the first one that we are not able to give that much time to the elder one. Good one.
Thanks Deepa,and i second toh on that totally
I was always scared of answering my older one’s questions about breast feeding my younger one. Great bonding does happen with acknowledgement of the situation and sharing it with the older sibling. Important take aways from your blog.
Thanks Manveen. That’s something that all second time mommies go through. Exactly why I had the urge you shares about my experience
Beautiful post . I’ll take some notes for my next baby 🙂 hopefully my daughter will be still a toddler
Thanks Amy.
Thanks Amy, I really hope this helps you too
This is so informative, loved your pointers. 🙂
Thanks Namrata
That’s a wonderful post and a very relevant topic. As a second time mother these concerns are genuine. You have shared some wonderful tips out here.
Thanks Charu
Great tips .. i agree breastfeeding can become an activity that makes the older sibling feel insecure if not explained properly
Happy to hear that you resonate with this
breastfeeding is indeed important & equaly taking care of your toddler
True that.
Indeed older kids should not feel neglected on the arrival of younger I’ve to still pass through this phase so bookmarking this post for future
Thank you
Such a great post!! Not yet a mom but I think it carries some important lessons to keep in mind
Thanks Krupa
0.5
We have a lil one aged 23 months and the tips you have given would be very handy if and when we plan the second one
Thank you ?
Nice to know information. Thank you.
Thanks Poornima
That was such a thoughtful post !! I always ensured to have my elder one around while I fed my younger one !! Kids need bonding and undiluted attention and love always !!
That’s great
Thanks for writing this post, Preetjyot. I am expecting my second baby and the pointers you have mentioned here would help me in future. 🙂
Thanks Neha. I’m glad you could connect with my post.
Definitely, the first child must be made to come to ease with the new born! Good post!
Thanks
I could relate to every point in the post..wonderful share.
Thank-you so much Roopali