Don’t Say this to anyone’s Child:
Being a mother brings along with it a lot of comments from people about your baby, be it from your loved ones, or from strangers walking besides on the street.
I am sure most of the times we just laugh over a few comments, address a few other comments or a few comment makes you wonder why people have an opinion about everything.
When I had my first child, certain things that people used to comment used to disturb me. But this time around, when an unwanted comment comes my way, I simply smile and don’t react.
Here’s are four things one shouldn’t say about other people’s children:
1. Never comment about anyone child’s skin colour: One of my friend has two kids. She is tired of people comparing the skin colour of both her children. It’s not only disturbing for my friend to hear that, but even the children feel uncomfortable with such comments coming their way. I understand that people don’t say if the dark skin is bad, and no one is implying that her other child isn’t cute because he’s dark. But my point is, why pass such a comment in the first place? What is the need to do it?
I am pretty sure her children are too small to understand the concept of difference in their skin colours. But I am sure that if her children hers it over and over throughout the years, it might make develop a complex.
One shouldn’t focus on a child’s height, skin colour, hair color, eye colour, or any other physical appearance.
2. Never call a child lazy: Frankly, whenever I see people say this, like any other comment on this list, people say with a lot of affection. One of my niece was an active baby, always did everything on target, be it walking, crawling, running, turning. Meanwhile, my nephew loved to lie down all the time. He took a while to meet his milestones, and people would never miss a chance of calling him lazy.
Even if one says this in love, this is something that doesn’t send a good message.
Firstly, would you ever believe a child to be lazy? Each baby is different and have different pattern of development. Not walking as far as the other child isn’t an act of laziness. Trust me being lazy is not a trait that anyone would be really proud of. The cold may live to relax, but calling him/her lazy is just not a great thing to do.
3. Never call a baby chubby or fat: This may sound fine in the beginning. There is no denying from the fact that chubby babies are super adorable and cuddlesome. They look cute, I get it!! But, this chubby talk has to come to a stop.
When this child turns 3 or 4, the child will definitely notice that everyone is removing about the child being fat.
One should never tease children about their weight.
4. Never call someone’s child unfriendly or not very social: this is the most rude thing to say to anyone. It’s not great that we usually value extroverts, especially when it comes to kids.
Why is it that everyone, loves kids who would be an entertainer, and would be ready for a show on demand? Why is it that we air kids who get everyone with a smile and don’t hesitate in doing so? Why is it that the kids who always are first to strike a conversation are stars of any gathering?
However, kids who are a bit ‘shy’ would be looked at with eyes filled with Pity. These shy ones usually cling on to their parents. These shy ones may also insist on their parents to carry them. The only thing is that these kids don’t feel comfortable with strangers.
Kids definitely need social skills, and at a certain age, when they’re comfortable being social, then there could be something wrong.
But for most children, calling them unsocial or unfriendly is just not fair. These kids must be developing on target. The only thing different with them is that, they might be having stranger anxiety and a strong attachment to their parents.
These kids are just wary of new situations. When given a bit time and space, they usually warm up to the environment. Yes, these comments people say with affection and love. But over time this seems wrong massage to the child, since hearing such comments can create an internal dialogue that may not be healthy for the child.
Such comments can overlook the stages of development, and also overlooks what’s considered healthy and normal.
Most of all, these kind comments drive the kids’ parents crazy!! And anyways, how is a parent supposed to comment on these kind of comments???
So here is an important notice: if you see a chubby, antisocial, or a child who looks different or isn’t even crawling yet, here is a big request… HOLD YOUR TONGUE!!
Neither the parent or the child needs to hear anything.
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