Want to Stop your child from hitting? (Part 2)
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And see the second post Stop your child from hitting : Step 1 in brief here:
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Now let me share what I feel should be the next step to consider when you want to stop your child from hitting.
In this post I have shared things that have proven to be helpful to me and my clients. Since you know your child best, feel free to tweak the suggestions as per your comfort. You would have to deal with biting, shoving or hitting the moment you see it happen. Waiting even for a minute or until you get home isn’t going to help as by that time, they would have already forgotten the incident and won’t be able to understand the severity of the situation.
Step 2. Show them what they should do instead of hitting
One trick that has always worked for me and my clients is to tell the kids what they CAN do, instead of telling them just what not to do, so there is no confusion.
Kids mostly love to please their elders, hence showing them how they can, would really help them.
In this scenario the main goal is to model gentle behaviour in front of them, something which they would copy or at least start to register consciously.
• You can model your hand softly rubbing their arm. By doing so, you would be modelling behaviour which most likely and eventually they would copy, which would indirectly teach them what to do instead of hitting or hurting someone.
• Make them wait for a turn with the toy/ item they want. If your kid hits or pushes others to get what he or she wants, you must not miss reminding him or her that this behaviour is not acceptable. This can be done by making them wait till the others kid/ person puts the toy/ item down. If the hitting or snatching continues even then , don’t let them have the toy/ item.
• You must teach them to say please instead of hitting to get something. If your kid can’t talk yet, you could choose to teach him or her the term ‘please’ in some form of a sign language! One way to do this is by simply rubbing a flat hand on their chest. This used to work for my younger one who started talking quite late.
What to do when your kid hits another kid?
In this case if you practice “show me gentle” (trick that I mentioned in my last post on this topic) , it might not work as there is a possibility that they just need some space or need to be picked up.
And there is also a possibility that they might go in for a second attempt at repeating the behaviour if their emotions are still high.
What I suggest in this case is that we say what I mentioned above in this post, that “We must not hit and that it can hurt others“.
Repeat that they can ask for a turn and wait (if that seems like the reason).
And remember, if you make an honest effort to deal with this behaviour, no parent would fault you that your kid hit their kid.
What actually could bother other moms is if you don’t do anything and allow your kid to hit or push to get their way around.
I hope this post takes your closer to your goal as a parent.
Stay around as I will be sharing the next steps in the coming days.
Until then stay safe and take care of yourselves.
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Read: Stop your child from hitting : things to remember
Read: Stop your child from hitting : Step 1
Read: Life Coach For kids who could help your kids reach their goals.
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