Want to Stop your child from hitting?
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How to get your toddler to stop hitting:
In this post I will share things that have proven to be helpful to me and my clients.
You know your child best, hence feel free to tweak the suggestions as per your comfort.
Since each step needs systematic explanation I have divided. the same into 4 parts . Read part 1 here .
Stop your child from hitting : Step 1
Remove your toddler and let them know that hitting isn’t safe.
A 16 month or 2 year old kid ideally has a very less attention span, which means that technically you would have to deal with biting, shoving or hitting the moment you see it happen.
Waiting even for a minute or until you get home isn’t going to help as by that time, they would have already forgotten the incident and won’t be able to understand the severity of the situation.
Firstly remove them from the situation to discuss the situation or hold them close if need be.
When your kid tries to hit /bite , gently hold their arm and tell them, ” No, You cannot hit. This isn’t safe. Please be gentle.“
I suggest parents to use the above phrase frequently for about 30 days, or until you notice your kid understanding the new boundary and begin to practice self control ( in some cases the kid understands in a few attempts itself).
Should you react aggressively when you want to Stop your child from hitting?
Naah! You must stay calm when this happens. Watch the kid calmly and wait for
their reaction.
There are quite a number of possible outcomes of this:
Your kid might start crying, throw a big tantrum or they might even try to squirm free in order to attempt doing it again.
They might get mad or be embarrassed. Or might end up staring at you to see your reaction.
Whatever is the reaction, you must try to stay calm ( I know it can be really hard to hold in your true feelings, but remember, staying calm is extremely necessary if you want to help your kid). Tell the kid your expectation in a simple and gentle tone. Shaming the kid or giving them a big lecture should be avoided completely, however don’t allow them to keep doing it.
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Much love,
Preetjyot Kaur
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View this post on InstagramOne more important thing to do here:
Is to honestly asses your own tone and reaction whenever your kid tries to punch, hit or bite.
Doing this is important as I totally understand that raising a kid can make you lose your cool at times, and staying calm and taking charge of your own emotions as parents can get difficult too sometimes.
The idea is to showcase the behaviour we expect from our kids. We can’t expect kids to be gentle with people around if we ourselves have a threatening tone or are unable to control our temper.
I hope this post takes your closer to your goal as a parent.
Stay around as I will be sharing the next steps in the coming days.
Until then stay safe and take care of yourselves.
Much love,
Preetjyot Kaur
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???? ????? ??? ???? & ????????? ?????
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Read: Stop your child from hitting : things to remember
Read: Stop your child from hitting : Step 2
Read: Life Coach For kids who could help your kids reach their goals.
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If you found this post helpful or if you know of someone who could benefit from this, please go ahead and share this.
Feel free to personally contact me at lifecoachpreet@gmail.com for any personal support.
Also, don’t forget to share your views in the comment section below
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I have read your previous article , on how to stop your child from hitting and its really nice. The pointers which you have written is really true. We should handle children calmly and explain them seriousness of the situation.
Thank you for reading my previous article and for your positive feedback. I’m glad you found the tips helpful. It’s important to handle children calmly and communicate with them effectively when addressing difficult behaviors like hitting. This approach helps them understand the situation better and learn how to manage their emotions and actions in a more positive way.
This will be extremely beneficial to parents whose children have a history of hitting. But I’d like to know how to deal with another child hitting our child. They become very aggressive while being stopped.
Thank you for your comment and question. It can be difficult to know how to handle another child hitting your child, especially if they become aggressive when stopped. The first step is to ensure your child’s safety and remove them from the situation if necessary. You can then calmly talk to the other child and their caregiver, explaining what happened and the consequences of hitting. It’s important to remain calm and avoid becoming confrontational, as this can escalate the situation. If the hitting continues, you may need to involve a teacher, parent, or other authority figure to mediate and ensure the safety of all children involved. Remember that teaching empathy and respectful communication can help prevent hitting and other aggressive behaviors in children.
It is developmentally normal for toddlers to hit. It is the parent’s job to supervise and handle toddlers kindly and firmly until they are ready to learn more
Exactly the point. We have to model the behavior we wish our kids to show
As parents and caretakers it is our job to let us know kids when they’re wrong. One must be gentle though and handle the situation immediately. Let them know they’re wrong then and there.
Absolutely! As parents and caregivers, it’s important to let children know when they’re behaving inappropriately and to address the situation in a gentle and immediate manner. This helps to reinforce good behavior and prevent negative behavior from becoming a habit. It’s important to remember that children learn through example, so modeling appropriate behavior is just as important as correcting negative behavior. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this!
I am blessed in this. my kids don’t hit any one be it kids or adults. though they keep fighting once in a while with one another.
It’s great to hear that your kids don’t hit anyone and have a healthy relationship with each other. Sibling fights are quite common and a natural part of growing up. It’s important to continue to promote positive behavior and communication among siblings and to reinforce the message that hitting is never an acceptable way to resolve conflicts. Keep up the good work!
Absolutely when you see your child hitting the first thing is acknowledge it and stop him/her then and there. let them know this is not an acceptable behaviour and not safe. explain what will happens if they will be hit by someone. raise questions and wait for their reply. talking is the key here.
Thank you for your comment! I completely agree with you that talking is the key here. It is important to explain to children why hitting is not an acceptable behavior and the consequences it can have. By engaging in conversation with children and encouraging them to express their thoughts and feelings, we can help them better understand the impact of their actions and develop their emotional intelligence. It’s great to see that you recognize the importance of communicating with your child and taking action when necessary to address problematic behavior.
I am a mother to a toddler and there are lot of developmental changes I face. Your posts are always helpful and informative to learn how situations can be handled in the right way.
Thank you for your kind words. I’m glad to hear that you find my posts helpful and informative. Parenting can be a challenging and rewarding experience, and it’s important to have the right tools and knowledge to navigate through the ups and downs of child development. If you have any specific topics or questions that you would like me to address in future posts, please don’t hesitate to let me know.
I know a kid in our neighborhood who hits other kids while playing with them. I think the way you have suggested to practice the phrase for 30 days should work with him well. Also I think parents should also adhere to not hitting policy to set a good example before the kids.
Great insight! It’s really important to set a good example for kids by following the “no hitting” policy ourselves. Kids learn a lot from observing their parents’ behavior, and when we demonstrate respect and kindness towards others, it teaches them to do the same. And yes, practicing the phrase for 30 days is a great way to reinforce the message and help kids understand the importance of using words instead of violence to express their feelings. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Superb post . Parents can totally help their child to understand the new boundary and how to practice self control before hitting any child
Thank you for your comment! I’m glad you found the post helpful. You’re absolutely right, parents play a crucial role in helping their children understand boundaries and practice self-control. By doing so, they can help their children manage their emotions in a healthy way and prevent situations where they may hit other children. It’s important to have open and honest conversations with our children and guide them in the right direction.
This is very crucial step. You have clearly mentioned all the practices which parents shouldn’t do and Kid’s reaction as well. I think this will help the parents big time to understand the behavior.
Thank you for your comment! I’m glad that you found the article helpful in understanding what not to do as a parent when dealing with children’s anger. It’s important to create a safe and supportive environment where children feel free to express their emotions and learn healthy ways to deal with them. If you have any other tips or experiences you would like to share, please feel free to do so. Thank you for reading!