Has someone ever taken advantage of your vulnerability?
Do you feel scared to open yourself up completely to someone else and once you do you instantly feel it could be a mistake?
If the answer to the above questions is yes, you must right away dive into this blog post.
It takes a lot of courage to show your vulnerability to the outside world and you should be proud of keeping it real.
Most often I have come across clients/friends who have confessed that they were taken advantage of once they shared their vulnerability with someone.
Humans are social beings, constantly in the need of being accepted and loved and always wanting to experience a sense of belonging.
Most of us depend on others to help us when we are down emotionally, encourage us to give our best shot and comfort us in times of need. There is a constant craving to know that we are needed.
Why do some of us feel deeply scared to completely open up to others?
When we open ourselves in front of someone, we give them the liberty to have a peep inside our real emotions, deep into the dusty and dark corners of our heart (that no one actually knows about). Sharing a secret that you kept inside your heart for the longest time because you can’t even imagine saying it out loud.
Despite this fear, one could end up being too comfortable around someone that you feel no hiccup in sharing your Real feelings with them. It’s anyways a great feeling to know that there is someone that makes you immensely happy and can be trusted.
Some people are not completely in touch with their feelings, however for those who understand their deep feelings sharing their vulnerability could feel like venturing into a different world. They know and are aware that they could end up getting hurt at the the end of it. Even then, one could end up taking a chance and not think about it much at first.
In some cases you just click with someone instantly, which makes it easier to tell them things you wouldn’t normally tell someone you met a minute ago (figuratively). This person could be the best person you have in your life, however could also end up hurting you eventually.
Basically it all comes down to Trust.
We open ourselves to people we strongly trust, so much that we assume that they would understand everything you say or do. We feel assured that they would keep their promises. That they would support the choices you make, even when they would not agree with it. That they would stand right besides you.
And all this, because you know you would do the same if you were in their shoes.
But the truth is that the reality could be a bit different than what you expect. At first you might feel blessed to have someone who could be trusted with the most insane stories. You might feel you found a missing puzzle.
And then woof! In a blink it is all just gone.
Consequences to opening up to others
Vulnerability is connected to one of the hardest feelings to bear : i.e. SHAME. It’s normal to do anything to the best of your capability to avoid feelings like shame and anger, or being defensive and act in a compulsive or addictive behaviour ( such as alcohol use, workaholism or shopping).
When a feeling like Shame comes in the most closest relationship, it can be really difficult to deal with.
You showed your vulnerability to someone. Now What?
I am going to share 3 important points to remember in that case:
- Courage: Remember, it takes a lot of Courage to be yourself, owning up your story whole heartedly and truly connecting with the power of being REAL. It is about showing your true self without having a fear of rejection or shame. It’s truly about taking the risk to be yourself.
- Compassion: You must remember that by showing your true self and feelings, you showed that you were compassionate. You chose to soften your heart to yourself and to those around you. You chose to accept and embrace the imperfections and flaws.
- Connectedness: You might feel counter-intuitive when you show your vulnerability to the world and might feel scared since you lowered your defences. As a result of this you might find people take advantage of that or might feel less of yourself.
The TRUTH :
When you choose to show your vulnerability you end up inspiring others to do so too. It’s important to be aware of people taking advantage of the same, and and the same time not feel low for putting down your armour. You were brave for having the courage to express your true feeling and emotions openly.
You opening up only shows that you are stronger than you expected.
When someone takes advantage of that, it’s on them not you. You might have been unlucky in finding the perfect secret keeper, but you must remember to not allow someone untrustworthy to question your choices or integrity.
Own it!
Stand up for yourself! And stand tall with your head held high. And remember to pat your back for embracing every emotion truthfully
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Much love,
Preetjyot Kaur
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I completely agree. Even I have seen people regretting that how did I open up my feelings. What will others think of me. The most important element here is what will others think. As you said it takes courage to open up. Not everyone can do it. And second, you are blessed to have such people in your life who are ready to give you their listening ear.
Yes, it can be difficult to overcome the fear of being judged or misunderstood when opening up to others. But having a supportive and trustworthy person to confide in can make all the difference. It’s important to remember that we can’t control others’ thoughts or reactions, but we can control our own actions and choices, including who we choose to open up to.
Great topic preet. yes, I agree it is not easy to open ourselves in front of others. and many people ( including me) have not so good experience when they show their vulnerability to others. personally, I feel it is all about having a feeling of trust and mutual understanding, when these two factors are present in any relation, things did not go in wrong direction.
Thanks for your comment. I completely agree with you that trust and mutual understanding play a crucial role in opening up to others. When we have that kind of bond with someone, we feel more comfortable and confident to share our vulnerabilities without the fear of being judged or rejected. It takes time to build such a connection, but it’s worth the effort.
We all need the support of others in our lives. However, it is difficult to open up to others. No matter how social or confident we are, it takes time to build trust and learn to whom we can and cannot share things. That willingness to share our lives with others, to show them who we are, our real struggles. Ues true! As you said that we must remember to not allow someone untrustworthy to question our choices or integrity.
I completely agree. It can be difficult to open up to others, no matter how social or confident we may seem. Building trust takes time, and it’s important to be mindful of whom we share our thoughts and feelings with.
It’s also important to remember that we have the power to set boundaries and protect our own integrity. We should never allow someone who is untrustworthy to question our choices or undermine our sense of self.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this important topic!
This is a very important and deep topic to cover. I feel scared to share my inner thoughts to people even though I come across as an extrovert. Usually people assume that I share everything but opening up to my inner self scares me and as you said I think it all comes down to trust.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the topic. It’s true that opening up and sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings can be a scary and vulnerable experience, even for those who appear to be extroverted.
Building trust with someone you feel comfortable with is a good first step towards opening up, and taking small steps can help you gradually become more comfortable with sharing your thoughts and feelings.
I hope my post provided some helpful insights and tips on building trust and fostering deeper connections with others. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!
My issue is that I open up more. Like I am an open book and people have often misused this character. But now with my Holisticwellness journey it has improved
It’s great to hear that your Holistic Wellness journey has helped you improve your tendency to be an open book. It’s important to set healthy boundaries and not let others take advantage of our openness. Keep up the good work and continue to prioritize your wellness!
Opening to someone is very courageous for anyone. Like everything has its pros and cons it does leave you with the feeling of being vulnerable but I agree with your thought process of owning it up.
I couldn’t agree more with your comment. Being vulnerable and opening up to someone can be a scary thing, but it’s also a courageous act that can lead to deeper connections and stronger relationships.
It’s important to remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but rather a strength. By owning up to our feelings and experiences, we show that we are human and that we are willing to trust and connect with others.
While it can be uncomfortable to feel vulnerable, the benefits of opening up and being honest with ourselves and others can be incredibly rewarding. It’s great to hear that you share this perspective, and I hope that more people can learn to embrace their vulnerability and connect with others on a deeper level. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I totally agree with the point bringing out our vulnerability definitely inspires people and shows our courage. Thank you for writing this
It’s great to hear that you found the point about vulnerability inspiring and agreed with it. It takes a lot of courage to show our vulnerable side, but it can often lead to deeper connections with others and inspire them to do the same.
I’m glad that the article resonated with you, and I hope it encourages you to embrace your vulnerability and continue to connect with others on a deeper level. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
Yes it dies take time and effort for me to show out the real me and to open up. While I am an extrovert who can talk to any one, I still have my limitations to what and how much I speak to others. Like you said, it’s all about building trust and once that is achieved, I am more comfortable and confident in being more open.
It’s great to hear how you’ve worked to become more comfortable and open with others. Even as an extrovert, it’s understandable that there are still limitations to how much and what we share with others.
Building trust is such an important part of being able to open up and share more about ourselves. It’s a process that takes time and effort, but it’s definitely worth it in the end.
It’s clear that you’re someone who values strong relationships and is willing to put in the work to build them. Keep being true to yourself and working to create those connections with others, and I’m sure you’ll continue to thrive!
You are absolutely right about choosing the right people to share your feelings with. A lot of people in today’s time and age cannot be trusted though.
Yes, it’s important to be careful about who you trust with your feelings and personal information. Building trust with someone takes time and effort, and it’s important to have boundaries in place to protect yourself. It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to share everything with everyone – it’s okay to keep some things private if that feels more comfortable for you.
You are right, being vulnerable is live walking naked with a conscious mind. But owning it up in the way to overcome is definitely liberating. Having said that, it is not at all easy. Following a guided advise and experts opinion matters.
Yes, owning up to our vulnerabilities can be a difficult process, but seeking help and guidance from experts can make a significant difference. It’s essential to find someone you trust and feel comfortable with to guide you through the process. And remember, vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength, and it takes courage to be vulnerable and open up to others.
I think we all are scared deep down to open up in front of others. Its the trust factor yes and also the fact that we dont want to be vulnerable in front of others.
You make a great point about the fear of vulnerability, which can be a common reason for not opening up in front of others. It takes courage to trust someone enough to share your thoughts and feelings with them, especially if you fear being judged or rejected. But opening up can also be a powerful way to connect with others and build stronger relationships. It can also help us feel more understood and supported, which can be especially important during difficult times.