Has someone ever taken advantage of your vulnerability?
Do you feel scared to open yourself up completely to someone else and once you do you instantly feel it could be a mistake?
If the answer to the above questions is yes, you must right away dive into this blog post.
It takes a lot of courage to show your vulnerability to the outside world and you should be proud of keeping it real.
Most often I have come across clients/friends who have confessed that they were taken advantage of once they shared their vulnerability with someone.
Humans are social beings, constantly in the need of being accepted and loved and always wanting to experience a sense of belonging.
Most of us depend on others to help us when we are down emotionally, encourage us to give our best shot and comfort us in times of need. There is a constant craving to know that we are needed.
Why do some of us feel deeply scared to completely open up to others?
When we open ourselves in front of someone, we give them the liberty to have a peep inside our real emotions, deep into the dusty and dark corners of our heart (that no one actually knows about). Sharing a secret that you kept inside your heart for the longest time because you can’t even imagine saying it out loud.
Despite this fear, one could end up being too comfortable around someone that you feel no hiccup in sharing your Real feelings with them. It’s anyways a great feeling to know that there is someone that makes you immensely happy and can be trusted.
Some people are not completely in touch with their feelings, however for those who understand their deep feelings sharing their vulnerability could feel like venturing into a different world. They know and are aware that they could end up getting hurt at the the end of it. Even then, one could end up taking a chance and not think about it much at first.
In some cases you just click with someone instantly, which makes it easier to tell them things you wouldn’t normally tell someone you met a minute ago (figuratively). This person could be the best person you have in your life, however could also end up hurting you eventually.
Basically it all comes down to Trust.
We open ourselves to people we strongly trust, so much that we assume that they would understand everything you say or do. We feel assured that they would keep their promises. That they would support the choices you make, even when they would not agree with it. That they would stand right besides you.
And all this, because you know you would do the same if you were in their shoes.
But the truth is that the reality could be a bit different than what you expect. At first you might feel blessed to have someone who could be trusted with the most insane stories. You might feel you found a missing puzzle.
And then woof! In a blink it is all just gone.
Consequences to opening up to others
Vulnerability is connected to one of the hardest feelings to bear : i.e. SHAME. It’s normal to do anything to the best of your capability to avoid feelings like shame and anger, or being defensive and act in a compulsive or addictive behaviour ( such as alcohol use, workaholism or shopping).
When a feeling like Shame comes in the most closest relationship, it can be really difficult to deal with.
You showed your vulnerability to someone. Now What?
I am going to share 3 important points to remember in that case:
- Courage: Remember, it takes a lot of Courage to be yourself, owning up your story whole heartedly and truly connecting with the power of being REAL. It is about showing your true self without having a fear of rejection or shame. It’s truly about taking the risk to be yourself.
- Compassion: You must remember that by showing your true self and feelings, you showed that you were compassionate. You chose to soften your heart to yourself and to those around you. You chose to accept and embrace the imperfections and flaws.
- Connectedness: You might feel counter-intuitive when you show your vulnerability to the world and might feel scared since you lowered your defences. As a result of this you might find people take advantage of that or might feel less of yourself.
The TRUTH :
When you choose to show your vulnerability you end up inspiring others to do so too. It’s important to be aware of people taking advantage of the same, and and the same time not feel low for putting down your armour. You were brave for having the courage to express your true feeling and emotions openly.
You opening up only shows that you are stronger than you expected.
When someone takes advantage of that, it’s on them not you. You might have been unlucky in finding the perfect secret keeper, but you must remember to not allow someone untrustworthy to question your choices or integrity.
Stand up for yourself! And stand tall with your head held high. And remember to pat your back for embracing every emotion truthfully
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