Are you making your child feel responsible for your emotions? If yes, Avoid saying the below statements to your child, and replace them with effective statements as mentioned in this blog post.
It’s unfair when we burden our kids with the responsibility of making sure that our emotions aren’t affected by their actions. Instead of loading our kids with this responsibility, we must focus on making our kids aware about their own feeling – big or small.
Check out how we do it often and how by making small changes in the way we talk to our kids, we can relieve our kids of that burden. Find out statements which you must Avoid saying to your child below :
- Avoid saying this to your child: “When you hit/push me, I feel so sad”
Try this: “It’s OK to be upset, but I can’t let you hit me. I will be ‘putting you down/ will stay a bit away’ to keep my body safe. When you are in a friendly mood, You can find me right here”
- Avoid saying this to your child: “When you say mean things to me, it breaks my heart and I feel so helpless”
Try this: “Woah! You must be really upset, otherwise you wouldn’t be using such big words for me. Would you like to talk to me about how and why you are feeling this way?”
- Avoid saying this to your child: “You are making mumma really mad right now”
Try this: “I can see that you are having a hard time coming on your own. I feel you need some extra help. Do you want me to help you?”
- Avoid saying this to your child: “Come on, make mumma super happy by finishing your meal quickly”
Try this: “Have you finished your meal? Alright! You know your body better, and I know you know how strong you would become when you finish this meal”
Even though the above statements could mean no harm, they wouldn’t effectively communicate your message. A child shouldn’t be put in such a spot.
By using such statements we put on a huge responsibility on our kids, which won’t help you raise emotionally intelligent kids.
More on this coming soon.
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