Self love is the key to being a happy mother.
Don’t be too hard on yourself to become a better parent.
The world around you changes overnight after you become a parent. A baby doesn’t just fill your life with new responsibilities but also influences your sleep, daily schedule, your diet and most importantly the amount of time you spend in the washroom.
7 years back when I was expecting my first child, a dear friend, gave me an advice which I never knew could be a game changer for our family.
One day when I was sharing how I was worried about our life after the baby was born, my friend gave me this precious piece of advice.
She told me,
‘Never change yourself or your life for your child if you want to enjoy motherhood. Ensure that you don’t stop loving yourself’.
I didn’t understand the depth of this statement until after my baby was 4 months old.
I have always spoken about my postpartum depression openly. I had completely lost myself for the initial 4 months after becoming a mother.
All my parenting issues became bigger with each passing day.
I grew more anxious.
I felt guilty about every tiny thing that I did or didn’t do as a new mom.
I was scared of screwing up.
I couldn’t keep up with the hard parenting reality, until one day when I decided to sort my life.
I knew, it was only me who could pull myself out of the insane self pity.
I decided to make some changes.
Motherhood becomes tough only when we change ourselves and our lifestyle for our child or when we stop loving ourselves the way we used to before becoming a parent.
Life gets tough when we get too hard on ourselves.
Words of my friend kept running in my mind.
I knew what was exactly that I had to do, to get my life back on a happy track. I didn’t have to lose my identity. I didn’t have to stop loving myself.
I remembered how I used to hang out with my friends and husband.
How I danced in the rain.
How I had a great social life.
How I loved driving alone.
How I listened to music endlessly to gain some inner sukoon.
In that moment I understood that along with my social life, I had let go of many things and habit I used to love.
Not that I didn’t love being a mother. I loved this role more than anything. However I was still living in the transition from who I used to be to who I had become. I just missed being in control of my life.
I decided to be myself. I didn’t have to sacrifice fancy dinners, romantic movie dates (even though it was at home), great clothes or shopping just because I had a baby.
I understood that the key to remain happy was self love.
Self love can be a little complicated and everyone perceives the term differently.
Perfection is truly an unrealistic goal and we need to accept this fact.
We must do what works for us and do whatever it takes to make ourselves feel valued and loved.
Once you learn to love yourself, you would have a lot left to give to your kids and family.
I love me, I love me
I don’t know about you, but baby I love me
Now everybody say, hey-hey-heyI don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast
I love all y’all, but I love me the most
Go and raise your glass, give yourself a toast – Meghan Trainer
I love my little daughters and husband more than anything, but I do love myself too.
One can’t be a parent 24/7. No one can be perfect, and we often have infinite reasons to lose it on a regular basis.
Your child must accept the REAL YOU. You need to keep the real you alive and love it. You need not hide the fun eccentric self, just to become a role model for your child.
You must carve out some time for yourself and keep it.
Do what you love.
Go grab that book that has been lying in your closet ever since you become a mom.
Treat yourself with a spa.
Take help from the people around you.
Play some rocking music and get into your dancing shoes once again.
It’s not easy, I agree.
However it’s doable.
You deserve it.
You deserve to love yourself.
Self love is the KEY!
It gives me immense pleasure to share that I along with 30 other bloggers are celebrating Woman’s Day in a melodically unique way.
I must thank all the participants for helping us bring this beautiful blogtrain together.
I thank Disha Mehrotra who writes at lifemyway.in for introducing me. She is an engineer by profession and shares her parenting experience in the most beautiful way.
I would also take the opportunity to introduce Charu Sareen Gujjal who is a dear friend and a mom of twins. She is a wonderful writer who shares some really interesting parenting tricks and tips. You can read her today’s post at themomsagas.com.
Do check out their blogs on today’s prompt : Self-love.
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Read: Loving myself makes me a happy Parent
Read: Meaning of Self Love – Understand it’s soul
Read: Life Coach For kids who could help your kids reach their goals.
Get on a discovery session With Life Coach Preet and discover new horizons. Reach me on Instagram to book one to one session or a group session.
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Lovely post dear and I agree that self love should be an integral part of every women’s life and it is the key to be happy and to keep others happy. I had a great time in participating sing it away blogathon. ( I had all 4 days post , sorry to write it here actually my phone got damazed and I could not update the list on whats up group today, so informing here, will update there tomorrow)
So happy to hear that Surbhi
May everyone get a best friend like you do. very cruicial points made, now a days even family members ack. post partum depression earlier it was just nullified by saying mood swings or tiredness.
Loved your post. That is the best advice ever.
I would never understand what it takes to be a mother. I understand there is a lot of change that happens in the body. These chemical changes lead to change in mood. Yes motherhood may mean making a lot of sacrifice for the child. I totally agree that if a person does not love herself she may not be able to extend her love to her child. It is a bottom up approach. A happy mother makes a happy child, because child is the extension of mother.
During motherhood a woman undergoes a lot of change in her body. Chemicals floating in the body bring about a change is emotion, many call motherly feeling and instinct. While a mother has to make a lot change and adjustment in her life for her child, I can understand that if a mother cannot love herself she may not be able to extend her love to her child. Baby is the extension of mother in all sense. A happy mother makes for a happy baby.
So gla we are on the same page.
A child actually changes a lady’s life and it takes time to return to your normal self. But yes, slowly and steadily, we come back t natural selves. In fact, now I have started making little dishes that only I like at home.
That’s wonderful Geetika.
Even though I am not a parent yet buy I understand what you must have gone through. Any form of depression is a killer. Its very very impt to practice self love to keep things on perspective.
Hi, that’s such a heartfelt post. Self-Love is the key to live and love. Each one of us keeps transitioning to different roles in life but that shouldn’t deter us from forgetting our real self. Even if we are selfish about ourself, we still can create/ have balance in our life 🙂
That’s so true Narinder. Self love can never be a hindrance.
Self Love is important for everyone. Mothers play an important role in every individual’s life, this makes me feel to start thinking my life when I will conceive 🙂 in future.
😬happy to hear that Varsha